Timothy Leroy Lincecum: known as the Freak, the Franchise, the Freaky Franchise, Timmy, Big Time Timmy Jim
Born: June 15, 1984
Height: He claims 5'11" but he's really more like 5'9"
Timmy had stoner hair for a long time, then at the beginning of the 2013 season, he cut it all off. While it makes him look about ten years older, it may have also worked like Sampson and Delilah stripping him of his freak powers.
Gerald Dempster Posey III: known as Buster
Born: March 27, 1987
Buster ain't having it
He is only 25, and has two World Seris trophies, an NL MVP, has caught Matt Cain's perfect game (I don't have a hockey analogy for this), and has just caught Tim Lincecum's no-hitter.
Fuck Scott Cousins.
Most people came here because of Buster's propensity for sweeping his teammates up in bear hugs. Which honestly, doesn't happen all that often. But when it does...